Therapy for Perfectionism
Online in Denver and Throughout Colorado and Georgia
Maybe perfectionism has helped you achieve a lot, but it’s also likely left you feeling drained, anxious, or like you’re never really doing “enough”.
Welcome to the land of perfectionism, where the stakes are always high, the bar is never quite low enough, and “good enough” feels like a foreign concept. If you’re here, it’s probably because perfectionism has been driving you for a while. So let’s talk about what perfectionism really costs, what it actually offers, and what therapy could look like if we teamed up to work through it together.
Perfectionism is often seen as a positive in our culture. We hear things like “I’m a bit of a perfectionist” tossed around like it’s a badge of honor. And, honestly, perfectionism can have its perks.
But there’s a flipside. Perfectionism can cause a constant sense of urgency and a nagging inner critic that makes “good enough” feel like failure, even when it exceeds expectations. It often leads to postponing tasks until they’re “just right,” only to leave them undone, and the constant pursuit of unattainable standards is both exhausting and damaging. Beyond productivity, perfectionism takes a toll on mental and physical well-being, causing stress, sleeplessness, self-doubt, and a loss of joy in once-loved activities.
Pros of Perfectionism
High Standards: Perfectionists often set ambitious goals, driving them to excel and produce high-quality work.
Attention to Detail: They have a keen eye for spotting errors or areas for improvement, leading to polished results.
Persistence: Perfectionists are often highly motivated and willing to work hard to achieve their goals.
Dependability: Their commitment to excellence can make them reliable and trustworthy in delivering results.
Continuous Improvement: A perfectionist mindset can encourage personal and professional growth by striving to always do better.
Cons of Perfectionism
Chronic Stress: The pressure to meet unrealistic expectations can lead to constant anxiety and overwhelm.
Procrastination: Fear of falling short can result in delays or avoidance, as tasks are postponed until they feel “just right.”
Burnout: Relentless pursuit of perfection can be mentally and physically exhausting, leading to diminished well-being.
Difficulty Accepting Failure: Perfectionists may struggle with self-doubt and criticism when things don’t go as planned.
Impact on Relationships: High expectations can create tension with others or make collaboration challenging if perfectionist standards are imposed.
My Approach to Therapy for Perfectionism
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
CBT is all about understanding the beliefs and thought patterns that fuel perfectionism. Together, we’ll explore the mental messages that drive you to aim for 110%, even when 85% would do just fine. By acting as a detective, you’ll uncover how perfectionist thoughts influence your feelings and behaviors, like the belief that anything less than perfect equals failure. With CBT, we’ll gently question these thoughts, giving you tools to shift from “This must be perfect” to “Good enough is okay.” You’ll learn how to recognize and rethink unhelpful patterns, making room for less pressure and more freedom in your life.
Internal Family Systems
IFS allows us to explore the different “parts” of you that drive perfectionism. Perhaps there’s a part of you that pushes to achieve, another that fears failure, and one that’s longing for rest. These parts all have their reasons, even when they feel in conflict. Through IFS, we’ll give each part space to share its perspective, helping you understand the roles they play. You may find that your perfectionist part is working hard to protect you from criticism or disappointment. By listening with compassion, you can create balance, so no single part feels it has to take over.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
ACT helps you change your relationship with perfectionist thoughts, rather than trying to eliminate them. Instead of battling with your need to get everything just right, we’ll focus on what truly matters to you. By identifying your core values, ACT encourages you to take meaningful steps toward your goals, even if things feel messy or incomplete. It’s about building a life aligned with what’s important—not just what feels “perfect.” With ACT, perfectionism doesn’t have to disappear for you to live fully; it simply becomes a quieter companion along the way.
Somatic Therapy
Perfectionism often shows up in the body—tight shoulders, a racing heart, or that uneasy knot in your stomach. Somatic Therapy helps you tune into these sensations and release the physical tension that builds up from perfectionist stress. We’ll practice grounding techniques that gently teach your body it doesn’t always have to stay in overdrive. By reconnecting with your body’s signals, you’ll learn how to let go of stored pressure and find a calmer, more centered way of being.
Moving from Perfect to Real
Through CBT, ACT, IFS, and Somatic Therapy, we’ll build a toolkit that lets you enjoy the benefits of striving for quality without being shackled by it. Therapy isn’t about turning you into a “non-perfectionist” overnight. It’s about giving you more flexibility, self-compassion, and the ability to choose when “good enough” is truly enough.